Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel speaks about overthinking and how we can reduce that in our lives. I’m sure everyone know how it feels like being stuck in a loop of unproductive thoughts. Be it overthinking the right time to leave house or over analysing small decisions. Overthinking can take many forms — staying up late wondering something, creating negative scenarios in our mind, reviewing things that had happened in the past or second guessing ourselves. Such thoughts are often repetitive, unhealthy and unhelpful. A study by Dr Susan Nolen Hoeksama from Yale showed that overthinking makes life harder, hurts our relationships and may contribute to mental disorders. Not only that, but overthinking carries a significant opportunity cost as our limited mental energy are spent on overthinking. No one really wants to spend their life overthinking, but the truth is, it’s hard not to. Unfortunately, women tend to suffer from more overthinking than men. A study by Amen Clinics done in 2017 showed that women tends more brain activity going on in the brain especially the prefrontal cortex, which in turn often leads to more emotional activity.
This book is valuable for those who want to focus on the things that matter and learn how to overcome decision fatigue. These small, cumulative shifts has helped Anne Bogel in her life and she hopes to share this information to help address these. The truth is that we can all do better, but it won’t happen instantly. It is a process which isn’t easy, but will be worth it. What I love about this book is that it provides some thought provoking questions for readers to think about and actions to act upon at the end of each chapter. Nevertheless, here’s a summary for those who may not find time to read the book.
1. Change What You Believe
While we may assume that we cannot help but overthink, it is a dangerous misconception. The way we see ourselves has enormous implications for how we live our lives. Stop describing yourself as a chronic over thinker, not even in your own head. Overthinking will no longer be part of our identity. Begin to describe yourself as
- someone who can make decisions confident
- someone who is developing strategies to stop overthinking
- the list goes on
Shifting your mindset is powerful as once we know and believe we can stop, we begin to explore how.
2. The Problem With Perfectionism
Analysis paralysis is one of the most common cause of overthinking. Analysis paralysis is less about the underlying decision and more about how we go about analysing the decision. Examples include repeatedly postponing the decision making process, fearing we make the wrong decision, constantly seeking more options and reviewing information. This tends to affect those who are intellectually curious more, who seeks to understand and over gather information to a point where it overwhelms us. Another major cause of analysis paralysis is perfectionism. In trying to seek the perfect decision, we second guess our decisions repeatedly.
Tips to Reduce Analysis Paralysis:
- Do a reality check that are often a few good solutions rather than a perfect one.
- Adopt a “try it and see what happens approach”: Choose a decision and see what happens, if something goes wrong, we can always iterate on it next time.
- Giving yourself permission to fail. Understanding that failure can be instructive and it’s okay even if we make the wrong decisions sometimes in our day to day lives.
3. Decide What Matters To Us
Our values drive our decisions. When we have a broader vision for our lives. many of the decisions we face become simples. We can align our decisions, small or big, to our broader vision. In using a values driven decision making process, we can allocate resources efficiently to what matters to us most. Often, we need to “fact check” by reviewing if our values align with the way we are living our lives. However, it’s okay if you don’t have a complete clear big picture on your values. You can live your way into it, it’s part of the discovery process. When making decisions, we can see if it is a decision based on a specific underlying value we hold or one made out of fear.
4. Take Time To Make Time
Being a responsible adult, clearing your stuffs etc is actually the most underrated form of self care — Sarah Bessey
Our habits can serve us, or not. We think overthinking happens in our head but it is in fact, much more systematic. We undermine certain habits until they fail us. For example, spending several hours trying to find something because we didn’t put them back in a certain place. Or when we forget to do certain tasks, doing them halfway and forgetting about it.
Instead, form habits that build us up. Putting important documents in a location and putting things back where we took them. Finish the cycle where we take out a book and put it back. Leaving too many open cycles take up mental space. Start building systems such as sorting the mail as soon as you bring them in.
Overthinking does not just happen in our head but it’s also intimately connected to our physical spaces. By streamlining you space, you can streamline your thought and focus on what truly matters, rather than at other details. It also maintains a level of organisation that helps you find stuffs when you need it.
When it comes to making time, our physical body matters too. Dr Emmons, the author of The Chemistry of Calm, states that sleep, exercise and diet can help us stay calm and be emotionally steady. In fact, a lack of exercise is tied directly to overthinking. In addition, we need to take mental breaks. Often we undermine taking breaks because they are not productive. But thinking is hard work and when we are mentally tired, it’s easy to overthink. Give mental breaks throughout the day. Be wary of fake breaks where we mindlessly scroll emails or social media.
5. Speed up The Decision Making Process
Sometimes making decisions can be difficult, with some requiring much more time. But at a certain point, waiting time become wasted time. We think taking time to decide will help but we may end up in an analysis paralysis. No matter the decision, beyond some point, we would be overthinking a decision. This can come when we are making a decision between two good choices or when we know what to do but is dragging your feet.
6. Pay Attention to What You Focus On
What we pay attention to and think about directly affects our feelings. However, we get to choose what you think about! We need to be mindful of what we dwell upon excessively. If we think negatively, our brain reinforces certain thought ways. But what if no matter how hard we try, we still end up fixated on the bad stuff? We need active strategies to help interrupt overthinking and rumination the moment it happens. All these will help us to reinforce new and better thought processes.
Strategies To Interrupt Overthinking:
- Begin to observe what you think about? What do you habitually focus on? Do your mind automatically look at the negative in things? What do you unhelpfully dwell upon?
- Look for the good: Instead of getting stuck in the negative thought cycle, disrupt it by looking for a positive interpretation. Alternatively, we can also consider a different viewpoint, rather than coming to a negative conclusion. In fact, begin a regular gratitude practice.
- Ignore/Invalidate unhelpful thoughts: Vast majority of us sometimes face intrusive thoughts that are unwanted and negative. However, not every thought represents your mood and character. We do not need to give weight and nurture to have thought in our mind.
- Schedule time to overthink: Therapist Amy Morin recommends this in order to prevent the thoughts from spilling over in the rest of the day. In fact, we can also write down our concerns as it helps to put things in perspective.
- Get up and moving: It helps to physically distract the body. In fact, many studies have proven that exercise helps to give something to focus on, boost energy levels, reduce stress and so on.
7. Streamline Decisions Made
Every day, we are required to make numerous decisions — what to eat, what to wear, how to tackle a conversation at work, whether to buy something on sale. Each small decision accumulates to require a huge amount of mental energy, where we eventually find ourselves in a decision fatigue. In order to overcome this, Anne Bogel suggest creating routines to streamline decisions. Having a routine is not confining. In fact, it frees us up to have mental capacity for more important decisions. Such predictability can help us clear away the mental clutter. Our routines can vary from eating the same thing every day or wearing a fixed outfit each day.
Make room for when things go unexpected
Even with all the planning, things may not go as expected. You may not rejoice when your plan gets disrupted, many overthinkers innately cling to old schedules. Consider building in margin for spontaneity in our routines and plans. This allows us to enjoy the unexpected surprises life brings us.
8. Outsourcing Decisions
Sometimes we need to outsource the many decisions we need to make in a day, especially for those that we do not need or want to make. We can rely on our friends who maybe experts in that field as well.
9. Rituals To Rely On
A routine can be a ritual, allowing for us to take time to pause and be more grounded. This could be making coffee every morning or routinely going out for dinner on Friday. The difference between a routine and ritual is that we don’t pay attention to our day to day routine, but a rituals calls for us to be fully present in what we do — even if it’s drinking coffee. The specific action doesn’t matter, but its rhythm, regularity, and meaning do. We make each routine purposeful when done mindfully. The ritual also helps us slow our bodies and our minds. The right morning ritual encourages us to approach our day with intention. If we begin by purposefully drinking coffee, practicing gratitude, and journaling, we start the day feeling calm, centered, and ready to take on the day with the big picture in mind. Rituals help us stop overthinking over a long term by proactively directing our focus and stop overthinking in its tracks.
10. Let’s Splurge
Be kinder to yourself. Splurge on the little purchases rather than overthink about whether to buy it. Accept that certain experiences maybe expensive but will bring more memories down the lane. Splurges are the unusual above average spend which will give us a special experience. On big splurges, consider “What is the money really buying me? What do I hope to get out of this experience? How do I measure the return on my investment?” Life is a series of experiences. Our splurges may not come cheap, but the memories are priceless.
Book Review:
Overall, I found this to be a fantastic and relatable read. I used to think of overthinking as something that was part and parcel of life and the way I am. Through this book, I realised that there are reason for some of my overthinking and active strategies I can do to overcome them. I believe this will be useful for many people who may be boggled down by the day to day overthinking. In reducing our overthinking, we can reclaim that mental energy and have the freedom to achieve the full potential in our lives.
A man is what he thinks about all day long. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love the quote in the book by Ralph Waldo Emerson. We need to work and refocus our thoughts towards being the person we want to be. I would recommend for anyone interested to get the book and follow along the questions that can help kickstart the journey.
